wednesdays are usually my favorite.
i get to do statistics all morning.
and then meet with a favorite professor to discuss and debate such topics like the European Union, immigration policy, migration, foreign languages and loads of other wonderful things. truth is, i love academia. and i love where it’s taking me.
but today was different. my professor is more like a mentor; she pushes me in my weak areas and makes me an academically stronger person. i am eternally grateful for her advice. but we talked about the future for the umpteenth time today. “you have lots of options, choices and decisions.” and that’s when the blanket of doom and despair descended.
pushing the heavy wooden doors out into the open air, i was greeted with a rush of cold air. it was overwhelming, just like the decisions i have to make. all of the applications i must fill out and the essays i must write. it can be very trying at times.
and so as i drove back home, i rolled down my window and hollered out to nobody and everybody. the wind carried my cries across the crimson tree line and up into the endless gray sky. i’m sure someone thought i was crazy, but it felt good. did it remedy my situation? did my decisions magically morph? nope.
but it felt good. and maybe the occasional scream is keeping me sane. it’s tough, you know, making a transition to the RealWorld after eighteen years of school.
Love you, girl. We should talk sometime! I know we're both super-busy. But hopefully we can find a time!
ReplyDeleteI've been constantly reminded by my advisor... if it isn't challenging, demanding, frustrating, or doom producing, then you aren't learning and you are going down the wrong path.
ReplyDeleteJust remember, you are allowed to change your mind once you make a decision. I've done it so many times in the past few months and I've already changed my thesis route once. Don't worry... everything works out!
this is true, angela. thanks for your insight (you are now one of my grad experts ;))
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