the kind man.

I know of a man who lives not too far from me. As a youngster, he towered over me, like the two large oak trees that stood parallel in his yard. Yet he had the gentlest eyes, the kindest smile.

He would stoop down beside me, to the crazy swing, we go, he'd say. And with the shove of his hand, I would glide in crazy circles, round and round.

When we tired of the crazy swing and our eyes fell droopy, he'd gently lift us, to the hammock he'd built by hand, we'd go. Back and forth and back and forth, nodding off into dreamland.

Sunny summer days found us by the water running side by side, chasing the seagulls, casting our fish lines or steering his speed boat and finding money. Splash, splash, was the name I'd give this special place, I told him.

The crazy swing taught me to embrace laughter and freedom, the hammock to appreciate rest, the lake to appreciate nature, but the years have accumulated.

The man, still tall has grown weaker. his breathing labored, his walk a little slower and his voice and laugh a little quieter: was this the man I used to know?

The peak was high, but a winding road beckoned us further. Reaching our destination, we piled out, caught our breath and then scaled a few small hills to reach 14,240 feet in the Colorado Rockies. He had his oxygen tank, but he was still climbing with us. At the top, he took in the beautiful view and I realized...

He was still the same, beneath the age.

As the wind swirled, the years blew before me and I realized it can all be gone in an instant. His health is failing fast, so I try to savor the moments I have with him now. I am so blessed and thankful to call this kind man my Grandpa.

Happy birthday, Grandpa. I love you so very, very much.

today is saturday.

i haven't done this in a while. what is this, you ask? post random photos. back in the day when i had free time, i'd used to post a smattering of images that would otherwise never see time on this blog. and that's exactly what i'm doing today. and my apologies - i've been snapping up photos of nature lately. i blame this on the fact that i was out of the country for most of spring and the beginning of summer here in michigan.

Moving over.

I was sitting on a bench in front of several elevators, impatiently waiting for my math professor to call me into her office.

Students were shuffling all about. Some were madly dashing off to class. Others were socializing with friends. That's when I saw her.

She appeared forlorn and weary as she was carrying several bags. She stumbled off the middle elevator and set her bag down on the seat and looked at me, silently pleading for more room.

Inwardly, I sighed. This always happens to me. The bench was definitely big enough for her to sit down and rest, but I was sprawled everywhere and really didn't feel like making room for her. Afterall, there were five other benches nearby. Couldn't she just chose one of those? Couldn't she see that I was stressed out? I nervously flipped my phone around (yes, I sometimes I pretend to text during awkward situations), glancing at her every few seconds. Her dark, piercing eyes and weary face eagerly waited for me to give an answer. Something inside me softened and I moved.

With that over, I contemplated a way to get off the bench. My professor wasn't ready to see me. There was a line for the bathroom and my next class wasn't for several hours. I didn't want to walk down several flights of stairs to find another seat and moving to the other side of the hall would have been insulting. Stuck, I decided to perch my head up, pretending to sleep. She wasn't fooled and there was nothing that could prepare me for what was coming. Not only did this lady want to sit, she wanted to talk. To me. She wanted to talk about real stuff too. She inquired about my major. Where I wanted to go in life. What I planned on doing in the next year. Where I was from. What I enjoyed. This lady wanted the real deal.

Goodness gracious, moving my bag was already a hassle. I was stressed about a math exam and another Arabic quiz later in the afternoon and detailing my life point-by-point wasn't exactly what I wanted to do that moment. I felt a stab of guilt and I inquired about her life. In a rather thick accent, she explained that she was currently obtaining her second bachelor's degree. She loved math and science and English was her third language. Her first two languages? Arabic and French. I tried restraining the rising tide of curiosity, but it was no use. I love France - she lived there for several years. I wanted to study in Lebanon for an extended amount of time - she was born and raised there.

Continuing in a soft voice, she explained the struggle that ensued just to obtain her first degree. In addition, she explained, her Arab origins didn't help when it came to making friends. Americans are too judgmental regarding the Arabs, she reasoned. They have too many stereotypes about us and it makes it hard to develop friendships, she concluded.

My sour attitude melted away. Suddenly I was glad I had given her room to sit down and lent her my ear. We continued chatting for a while longer. Eventually, I glanced at my watch and realized the time: 12:45. Where had the time gone? My professor was waiting and she had to scoot off to a meeting. As she stood up to leave, she grasped my hand. Thank you, she said. I smiled and suddenly, she was gone.

I don't know if I'll ever see her again, but my new friend taught me a bit about life in thirty minutes. Walking down the hall to my professor's office, a million thoughts flooded my mind.

Lilas Trotter once said,

“[The] dandelion has long ago surrendered its golden petals, and has reached its crowing stage of dying – the delicate seed-globe must break up now – it gives and gives till it has nothing left. There is no sense of wrenching: it stands ready, holding up its little life, not knowing when or where or how the wind bloweth where it listeth may carry it away. It holds itself no longer for its own keeping, only as something to be given..."

An introvert at times, I tend to shy away from unfamiliar situations and meeting people. Sometimes it's because I lack the time or I'm simply not interested in developing new relationships. Other times, I'm afraid of getting hurt. But today I realized you can't live like that. Life is about looking for the worn and hurt. For those who need a sympathetic ear. For the men and women who are suffering. For the children who have no friends. Life is about find those people, moving your "stuff" and making room for them.

(photo: zagreb, croatia.)

Musical Mondays

Mondays are generally bad days – it’s always hard to get back into a routine after the weekend. Today hasn't been too terrible, but I have decided that Mondays will henceforth be called Musical Mondays, where I share a song that has really impacted me because music always makes things better.

At any rate, I love Needtobreathe, but I had not heard of this song until Kristen blogged about it. Good stuff.

Moving along. I love days when I randomly open my Bible to a passage that I absolutely needed to read. For the last several weeks, I have encountered some serious health issues and when I randomly opened up to Lamentations 3, I knew God was up to something.

"Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new mevery morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”

I suffer from an unknown autoimmune disease. I have my good days and bad days. On the good days, life is great. But on the bad days (which seem to far outnumber the good days currently), it becomes overbearing. The pain is too much and sometimes I'd rather just fly away to heaven. But I don't have wings and God hasn't called me home yet. These verses reminded me not to place my hope in doctors or medicine, but rather on God who is the ultimate healer.

Thanks God!

{sarajevo: religion}

(If you're new here, I've been blogging about living in Sarajevo, Bosnia this summer. You can read my other posts here.)

Sarajevo is often referred to as the Jerusalem of Eastern Europe. And it's true. The city is littered with mosques and cathedrals, representing Muslims, Orthodox Christians and Catholics. It's not uncommon to have an Orthodox church, a Catholic church and a mosque on the same block (some are even just a few feet from each other). (And just for clarification, over half of the population is Bosniak, which essentially means they are Muslim. Croats are Catholic and Serbs are Orthodox Christians.)

Over the last several thousand years, the Ottomans (later the Turks) have ruled in Sarajevo, as have other western European powers right through the Communist period. Although the number of mosques far outnumber the amount of churches (and I mean churches are really outnumbered), Sarajevo is really a patchwork of each religion.

(above: the remains of a monastery. there are many monasteries in Sarajevo, but they have been converted to public buildings.)

(above: a jewish synagogue.)

Katie & Drake {couples}

I have this awesome friend named Katie. Growing up, we lived a block away from each other, had mutual friends but never really were playmates. Fast forward a few years, we meet and the rest is history. You can imagine my happiness when I found out this past February that she had met an awesome guy and was dating; I love it when my friends find that special someone! I was in Bosnia when Drake first visited Michigan (they have a long-distance relationship) so I didn't have a chance to meet him. But he came back a few weeks ago and I was able to snap these shots! He asked Katie's dad for permission to marry her (isn't that THE sweetest?!) and I have a hunch that an engagement is around the corner ;) I'm so excited to see where life takes these two awesome people!

(i'e never seen my friend so happy!)

katie braun {seniors}

Gasp! My own sister is graduating from high school next year. Am I really that old now?! It's hard to believe that just five years ago I was donning a cap and gown, gearing up for college. But now she's the one entering college as I'm exiting. Weirdness. We went out this weekend to downtown Ann Arbor (our hometown) to get her senior shots started. Isn't she the cutest? It was weird (in a good way) to shoot her. My clients will recognize her because she's my best friend, handy assistant and second shooter, so for her to be in front of the camera was FUN!

{quote}

‎"People create their own questions because they are afraid to look straight. All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk."

-Ayn Rand

The Twins.

The Paul children (that I see everyday of the week) are going to have a well-documented childhood at the rate I snap pictures. They are just too cute though! I recently blogged a newborn shoot I did of their twins and I was over there again and snapped these. They are growing SO fast! Both of them also love holding hands and grabbing each other - it's so sweet. I love watching these kiddos grow up!

Five years.

July 27th marked the fifth anniversary of my becoming ill (for those of you who don't know, I have been battling an unknown, Lupus-like disease). I didn't even remember it was "the day" until after the fact, which makes me happy. For the last five years, I have determined to keep my illness from defining who I was. It may have crushed my dreams as a musician, knocked me off my knees (quite literally) and prevented me from doing so many things I loved dearly, but it never bested me and I have been able to do plenty of normal things. Doctors said I'd never walk again, let alone run (and now I do half marathons and collegiate races). Doctors never thought I'd be able to travel easily, but I have. They weren't sure what psychological or neurological problems I'd suffer from, but God has been extremely gracious. It has been a long road and I know there will be many tough days ahead that may be filled with more doctors exams, needles and maybe even hospitals and that's okay. Back in the darkest, most miserable hours when I initially became ill, God gave me Isaiah 40:31,

...but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

He has faithfully kept that promise. And that's why I can say this illness has been the best thing that ever happened to me. I am extremely stubborn and independent, but this illness stripped me of everything and nearly brought me to my deathbed where I was literally begging God for mercy. And by asking for help, God has given me so much.

I know I will continue to suffer from the same things in the future, but I feel I've turned a corner and can confidently say,

This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.

{sarajevo: the food}

Bosnians have amazing food. There's nothing exotic; no bugs, no chicken feet, no snakes. Sorry. But there is bread (hljeb), chicken sandwiches (pileci sandvic), fruit, cevapi (beef and lamb mixed together), bread, nutella, chicken salad (pileci salata), bread, fruit...you get the idea. Bosnians add their own touch to things like pileci salata and sandvic's...things like corn, local-made cheeses, interesting dressings and other things I don't know about (but ate anyways). Bosnian chef's also LOVE mayonnaise, and I do mean l.o.v.e. it. I usually had to wipe half of it just to eat the sandvic. So that's Bosnian food in a nutshell. There's more to it and there are definitely other dishes, I just don't remember names. I also feel that I MUST mention Bosnian coffee. It's very strong and I love it. American coffee just doesn't compare. They drink it all day, everyday and cafe's line the streets an alleys in Sarajevo. You can't escape the coffee, it will always find you.

Also worth noting: Sarajevo just welcomed its first McDonalds. I actually saw the location before they even constructed and I must say, it's so neat to see how it has changed (the last picture above is where the McD's is located now). Furthermore, it's exciting to see Bosnia progress; they are one of the last countries in Europe to get a McD's. Say what you want about capitalism, globalization and American imperialism, but this is huge for Bosnia, especially in the post-war era. A recent news report noted,

"We are becoming a part of western Europe, of a world from which we were cut off," local politician Aner Begic, 32, said as he munched on his meal.

"McDonald's is a symbol of the Western world and I'm thrilled that Bosnia is joining it," he said. Years of isolation brought on by Bosnia's inter-ethnic wars of the early 1990s are slowly easing. International brands are moving in and Bosnians can head out to most EU states since December without a visa, even if this still seems a far-off dream in an impoverished state with 43 percent unemployment."

You can keep reading here!