screaming is okay, you know?

wednesdays are usually my favorite.

 i get to do statistics all morning.

 and then meet with a favorite professor to discuss and debate such topics like the European Union, immigration policy, migration, foreign languages and loads of other wonderful things. truth is, i love academia. and i love where it’s taking me.

 but today was different. my professor is more like a mentor; she pushes me in my weak areas and makes me an academically stronger person. i am eternally grateful for her advice. but we talked about the future for the umpteenth time today. “you have lots of options, choices and decisions.” and that’s when the blanket of doom and despair descended.

 pushing the heavy wooden doors out into the open air, i was greeted with a rush of cold air. it was overwhelming, just like the decisions i have to make. all of the applications i must fill out and the essays i must write. it can be very trying at times.

and so as i drove back home, i rolled down my window and hollered out to nobody and everybody. the wind carried my cries across the crimson tree line and up into the endless gray sky. i’m sure someone thought i was crazy, but it felt good. did it remedy my situation? did my decisions magically morph? nope. but it felt good. and maybe the occasional scream is keeping me sane. it’s tough, you know, making a transition to the RealWorld after eighteen years of school.

Emma V {portraits}

A few weeks ago, I was honored to collaborate with a good friend of mine, Emma.  She's an extremely talented musician who's getting ready to do some awesome things!  I'm so blessed to call her my friend :)

View more here!

I am procrastinating.

You all (or 'y'all' for my peeps down there in the south) should take a few minutes to listen to this song.  Because it's wonderful.  Love me some Needtobreathe these days.

I've mentioned some cryptic things in tweets and recent posts, so I figured I'd share some recent developments in my life.

• I applied for a Fulbright scholarship to return to Bosnia-Herzegovina.  I'd be gone for a year, which seems so daunting, yet exciting.  
• Did you know that statistics is wonderful?  And I do not mean that sarcastically at all.  I am head over heels in love with plugging the numbers into formulas and calculating things.  Coolest part? As a sociologist, I get to conduct the research to get the numbers.  Then I can to play with them.  It's like the numbers are silly-putty and I love silly putty, so it's a win.  
• The Sociology Club elected me as President!  In two weeks, I get to stand in front of my peers. And talk. About sociology. And my work.  That just sounds so dignified and I feel so under-qualified.  
• My brother has been home since last Monday!  Just to clarify: MarineBrother1 is over in Afghanland (though with this latest offensive our military has started, I'm half wondering if he's now in Pakistan?).  MarineBrother2 is halfway through training and completely SURPRISED us all and showed up, bags in tow, last Monday for a two-week stay.  Can you say 'happy'?!  I'm hoping to blog about deployment from a Big Sister's point of view soon, so stay tuned!
• I'm a wedding two days after Christmas!  As the maid of honor, I understand that I'm supposed to be on top of a bunch of things, but alas, I am failing. The bride-to-be texted me last night to remind me of a dress fitting this evening.  And it's a good thing she did - I had forgotten about it. What would a maid of honor do without a bride?!?!?  
• Also, I know this wonderful blogger (well, we've exchanged a few emails, but I've read her blog for years, so I feel like I know her) named Lore who blogs at Sayable.  I've been meaning to do a plug for her blog, but it always escapes me.  I'm a bad blogger.  Anyways, I figured now would be a wonderful time because she's doing a book giveaway.  Hello!  What could be better than a book giveaway?!  So go enter and then click around.  She's a fantastic writer (unlike myself who resorts to bullet points) because she writes about hard, yet real things in life.  You won't be disappointed. 

All of this paper writing has clearly made me mad, so I better stop!

Olivia {2012 senior}

This pretty lady?  I used to babysit her and now she's graduating from high school.  I guess I'm gettin' old, eh?  Olivia is so sweet and is extremely talented on stage.  She has participated in many theatre productions as lead actor and she's planning on pursuing theatre after graduation.  Good luck, Olivia!  I know you'll be great :)

To view more photos, click here!

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

In case you couldn't tell, my blog has changed a bit.  I've wanted to give my blog a slightly different feel lately, so I ditched the single column.  I like it.  My blog feels cozy now, if that's even possible.  The only problem?  Many of my past photos are slightly too big for the column widths.  I'm in the process of trying to switch over five years worth of photos, but it's difficult. (And I betcha didn't know I've been blogging here since 2006!)  I have temporarily taken down many photo posts as I attempt to fix this, so I'm sorry for any inconvenience.

The future holds many changes for me, some of which I've alluded to on this blog.  In addition to photos, I'm hoping to incorporate more of my writing (because in case you didn't know, I am a writer by day).  Many of my photoshoots will still appear here; however, I'm hoping to utilize my facebook page more.  I'll still post an image or two here, but you will find the images over there.

For now, I'm back to working on the following:

• forty-page paper on immigrant identity formation in Europe.
• an analysis of this book.
• a critique of this book.

Have a happy Saturday!

today, there is tea, sunshine and relief. my future is now in the hands of the state department.

i have the coolest and the prettiest clients ever! and tomorrow, i'm collaborating with my friend and fellow musician, emma v. who is working on a special project.  i'm excited and and i love the opportunities that are coming my way :)

it's fall!